Cursed Fig! Or: How I witness to Lost Souls

Gather 'round, ye boys and girls, children of all ages, cloth, and stripes! It's time for a Bible story, taken from the Gospel According to Saint Matthew, Chapter 21.

16 And said to him: Hearest thou what these say? And Jesus said to them: Yea, have you never read: Out of the mouth of infants and of sucklings thou hast perfected praise? 17 And leaving them, he went out of the city into Bethania, and remained there. 18 And in the morning, returning into the city, he was hungry. 19 And seeing a certain fig tree by the way side, he came to it, and found nothing on it but leaves only, and he saith to it: May no fruit grow on thee henceforward for ever. And immediately the fig tree withered away. 20 And the disciples seeing it wondered, saying: How is it presently withered away?

Boldness has been personally added, to impress upon the memory of our 'busy' sons and daughters the Moral of the Story.

What lovely thoughts! What terrible places we'll see!

Semi-sentient beings,

I like to think that the world isn't the horrid, beautiful place it is sometimes. At times I like to think of it as a big parade balloon, floating down the Avenue, a magnificantly commercial product, full of nothing but hot air, and yet not unpleasing to the eye. Guided by the few - I won't designate them either fortunate or not - bouncing around between the babel-towers of the powerful, with a great big smile painted on. Alas. I just go wild sometimes.

I anticipate that, despite the fact that I've cancelled my Paros, Greece, plans, I will nonetheless be residing in Athens within a year. Possibly as early as February, no later than August, both in the year 2010 of our Lord. Often, in the midst of daytime reverie (which, given my current Walden-in-a-room situation, doesn't happen as often as you might expect), I see myself in fantastic drunken orgies with girls and boys cut from the same cloth, or maybe sitting in a Platonic symposium, lying casually in some divan taken right out of the Orient, talking republics, realities, all while - not without some distracting discourse, mind you - the girls play their aulos between topping off our coblets of wine. Naturally, these orgies are in honor of Dionysus, for I do believe that the god himself placed a piece of his torn flesh in my soul before he was resureccted, Christ-like. The symposiums are not in honor of any athletic or poetic achievements; simply discourse and and making merry for their own sakes. 

Well, there's only two ways to view these scenes: in a year's time, I will be furthering these pipe-dreams in a Psychology lecture; or I might, in retrospect, just be comparable to the famed oracles of Delphi. 

But anything that's been sprung from my woolgathering and shape-shifted into these flimsy words must be possible. Rest assured my palate will be ready should the opportunity present itself.

Pray softly and dream loudly, romantic hearts.

Post script:

It should also be noted that the term 'literary onanism' is quite sufficient for everything said heretofore, and the term strikes such a positive note, with the exception that, after such rigorous reverie, one does not face what the French call la petite mort, which strikes the adult male so often post-climax. 

Only Many Frontiers

Brave souls,

Perhaps you may be confused about my intentions in keeping this web-log. Perhaps not. 

Perhaps it may seem that I'm full of it, and these entries, and their illuminating contents, are mere jestures. This is not the case.

Everything I write here is true. Not really True, but true. If my tone seems less than sincere to the naked eyes, it's because here we are talking about enlightenment, and attaining higher states of consciousness, be it through external stimuli or internal subjective Mind processes. For enlightenment is surely beyond words, and I offer no attempt to convey my journey therein. After all, 1. have fun.

So what then is the point? What is the point of philosophy and Consciousness Exploration? I do seek enlightenment, I do seek to awake to the fact all space is One, and all time is One, and all everything is One, or None. 

Revel! There is neither a point to all of this nor is there not a point to all of this.

Why worry? I asked the world, why do you worry so much? Because you seem to be worried all the time.

Dear world, I'm pleased to meet you. 

What the world doesn't want us to see

what the world wants us to fear

is what we grow in our gardens

Everything is welcome here

Life itinerary: change of plans! I no longer plan to stay in Greece for 2 semesters. My current plan is to only stay in Greece from Sept 09 - Dec. 09. Then, barring unforeseen obstacles, I just might return to the Uni of Alberta in the winter. 

But that's the future, and it doesn't really exist. 

To the sink then

A monk asked Zhaozhou to teach him.

Zhaozhou asked, "Have you eaten your meal?"

The monk replied, "Yes, I have."

"Then go wash your bowl", said Zhaozhou.

At that moment, the monk was enlightened.

Dream Cycles

Regale: the Dreamworld is beyond my reach. The Lucid region of it, at least.

I've continued with Exploration A.1, but I cannot breach the walls of Exploration A.1.1-A.1.4, so named because I've attempted this exploration 4 times, and have come to the same results. That is, the edge of Lucid-ness, quite within my grasp and still unable to fully reach it.

Alas, there have been setbacks as well. Internet-men scouring the house for faulty wires, unexpected visits from family during my Lucid Nap Time, and electric-men fixing a power outage. I'll spare you the details of these other sub-explorations for now, because they're irrelevant and mostly unamusing. When the power went off once, right as my body went to sleep and my mind was still awake, I opened my eyes, and I could see the ceiling fan slowing down. Of course, I didn't know the power was out, because I couldn't turn my head to see if the clock was on or not. I just thought time was slowing down. Eventually the fan stopped completely and imagine me! Thinking I stopped Time. Silly me. No, it was just a power outage.

Reality can be such a tease.

There's Vaseline on the handle of this gate, but now that my classes are officially over until the end of the month, I should have plenty of time for some Exploring. 

Should we rendezvous somewhere in Dreamsville, darling? I'm sorry, I have no map. But I do have some hastily-written directions in a language I'm just learning, for your benefit, good heart.

Suchness

Is there a fourth dimension?

One can only imagine being able to answer this question amongst the dregs of society, in the gutter and gazing at the stars, in a flux of consciousness no man should endure if he (quite idiotically) fears for his life, to be that derelict pretender to the cardboard throne of Henry Miller....

Forgive me, old sports, as I ponder.

If we can say that time is a spatial dimension - the 4th dimension, natch - well, what does this mean for the future of human development? Can we ever be sure? Will this current body I inhabit ever know?

Eternity can only exist if the traditional concept of 'time' is held fast. This I cannot do. 

Mayhaps this 4th dimension is seen only in dreams. Or rather, in a dream state, we catch only a chaotic glimpse of this world, where there is no time, and all time is everywhere all the time. Often in a dream world, we see a clock - and the numbers are in an abnormal state. In fact, Lucid DreamMasters encourage you to, if possible, look at a clock in order to become aware of your Dream-ness - for what place does a clock have in a world where time has no meaning?

I suppose then, to be truly enlightened, is for one's consciousness to be aware of this - The Ending of Time. Samsara and Nirvana and all that. "To be in the now" perhaps means to understand that there is no past, and there is no future, and there is no present - there is only the now; which is to say, there is only the past, present, and future all at the same time (such as in my hypothetical 4th dimension) - which we might call the Now.

Very soon we will see Buddhists being gratified all around the world as relativity theory and quantum mechanics catch up to the old religion, where the non-existent walls between empirical science and subjective psychology fall, and thus they won't be non-existent because there will be nothing to not exist. 

Can you see the smile on the Buddha's face now?

All life is suffering, but this will be a marvelous Now.

To Be Young...

Kind reader,

Could you put forth a theory as to what kind of a world we live in today?

Boggle thy mind!

Is it really news that, in the career of shooting other people with guns, who may or may not be shooting at you with guns, one would fail to differentiate between  those in local garb and those in camo? Is this news? Is this surprising? 

Does anyone ask him/herself "what is wrong with this picture?"

Does it matter?

Be content, merry soul. You've been spared, not rejected. 

Lou Said what?!

Good sirs,

May I, gently no doubt, take a moment of your precious time, which will surely evaporate before you know it, in order that I may muse on such strenuous nonesuch?

Much obliged, to be sure.

I started this blog some 7 months ago in order to - well, I don't know why I started it. Nonetheless, I decided to start it once more, to make a travel blog of sorts for those whose communication with me will most likely be minimized in the coming months, as I spend a bit of my life on the Greek island of Paros, from Sept 09 to June '10.

I guess that makes this Phase 1: Preparation. Which is pretty pointless because I can still communicate with those who would have me.

I propose this blog to be - well, I still really don't know. Philosophical onanism, personal ballyhoo, etc. etc.

And a dream journal! I truly honestly have decided to devote my life to studying philosophy, just exploring the nature of reality and other such trivialities. And dreams are fun. Consciousness studies really interests me, and I've decided, in a substance-less environment (for now), to explore the other dimensions if they truly exist. I suppose that could be one point of this. It helps to get this stuff out, and I do keep a journal, but perhaps this will be a happier medium, especially for the few of my associates who may be concerned (uh, yeah.). 

Anywho, I started with some binaural beats in order that I may attempt to exercise brainwave entrainment.  

Here's is the first part of Exploration A, and may you excuse the poor quality of the writing? It's from my private journal, which doesn't really call for any type of erudition. 

Exploration A.1

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

5:27 pm

Dream Journal Day 1: 5/6/09

Audio: BMV Series 1: Trance/Lucid Dreaming Induction

Today a new side revealed itself in this schizophrenic journal of mine. Besides a Dear Diary confessional, philosophic onanism, and poetic ballyhoo, this journal will now be used as a dream journal as well.

I decided to take a nap around 3:30; I also decided to use some of the new audio I downloaded, called Brainwave Mind Voyages. Sounds like new-age mumbo jumbo, but it involves brainwave entrainment, which is mostly scientifically viable. It basically involves inducing various brainwaves, such as delta (deep sleep), etc. You can practically put your mind (and by extension your body) into a delta state, and yet still be fully conscious. It essentially induces a state of meditation (truly learned meditators, when scientifically tested, are in delta [deep sleep] mode when they meditate. impressive, to say the least). [Side note: Ken Wilber has proven this, if you look it up. he can actually change his brainwaves by meditating, sometimes with his eyes even open.]

Supposedly this can lead all sorts of spiritual shit; I decided not to focus on that, and not get ahead of myself, but instead focus on the slightly more objective effects. Or at least, the effects that can be proven (whatever), or that can be put into more specific words. This isn't meant to be some scientific experiment-hypothesis bullshit either; I'm just writing it down how I remember it, how I saw it, how I felt it, what I did, etc.

So I set my computer on the bed, poppd in my head phones, turned the playlist on (BMV Series 1: Lucid Dreaming). I picked Lucid Dreaming because it fascinates me, and because it was made for sleeping (some of the series can be used for simple meditation or relaxation or whatever; not necessarily sleeping). 

I won't describe the audio itself (because it's hard to describe), but rather, the effects. First, we should clarify: lucid dreaming is when you're aware that you're dreaming, and thus, in theory, can completely control your dreams and what happens in them. Swank. In this state, your body is asleep, but your mind is awake (when it should be asleep, like in normal dreaming). Something like that, anyhow. Eventually I dozed off, had a very short dream about spitting into the sink, which was surprisingly vivid, I woke up. I think. 

Well, it's weird. You know that feeling when an arm or a leg falls asleep for being too stationary or whatever? It was like, all over. And I couldn't move. At all. It was like sleep paralysis, except not really terrifying. Just weird. Trey and I discussed this one time, but I don't think we were on the same page; I think this is exactly what he was talking about, because we were talking about lucid dreaming. I'll look it up later. 

I was awake, though, fully aware and conscious, a little confused (it's a little new to me after all), and I couldn't feel my body. It wasn't quite an OBE, or maybe it was; regardless, I couldn't really feel my body. And I couldn't move it. Like I said, it was a little like sleep paralysis, except you're not completely aware when that happens, and it's terrifying. This wasn't terrifiying at all.

So in this state, as my body was asleep, and I was aware, I tried to doze off again, so the whispering in my ear "I will be fully aware the next time that I dream" would become true. I guess I was too curious and/or confused to fall asleep again, so I laid there, stiff and aware, until the audio stopped. (I forgot to set to 'repeat' and I couldn't really do it then). What's strange is that I could open my eyes, but nothing else. I was facing a clock, and it was 4:30 (an hour later). I set my alarm on my cell phone, and held it in my hand as I fell asleep; I coudn't feel it at all. 

I had to snap myself out of it. It was a lot like snapping yourself out of sleep paralysis, but I wasn't panicking. l just had to focus a bit. I had to pinch myself to make sure that wasn't part of the dream.

I was a little weirded out after that, for lack of a better expression. I tried taking a normal nap (I had planned to sleep 2 hours), but I couldn't fall asleep after that. I had about 4 hours of sleep last night, so I'm a little tired today. And normally a 1 hour nap wouldn't be much, but I felt - the only way I can describe it - refreshed. Like I just had a perfect 3 hour long nap or something, completely in sync with my sleep cycle. Felt just like that, and it had only been one hour. And I felt a little surreal after that, as if I might have still been dreaming. 

I'm pretty skeptical about all this, but for an experiment like that, I'm pretty surprised it produced immediate results. I'd still like to experiment further with it - get used to lucid dreaming, try some of the other sets (meditation, etc.). Then maybe I can move on into the spiritual realm, experiment with OBEs and astral projections and whatnot. Very skeptical about that stuff too, of course, but at the very least, I can learn to lucid dream with ease. That could be fun.

2:43 am (Thursday, i guess).

Tried it again. Exact same procedure, exact same results. I feel I'm getting closer though.

I should also note that I tried the same procedure last night, but I was too tired to really concentrate on the guided voice. I also figured out that I should keep sleeping, and that lucid dreaming would probably happen while I'm dreaming (how 'bout that), and not during the actual audio contemplation. Still, I did manage to put my body to sleep while my mind remained aware, which is a strange experience, to say the least, but it's the proper practice of sorts for the real thing. I think.

The interesting thing about all this is that it's pretty scientific. Whatever that means. At the very least, the binaural beats certainly are. I'm pretty skeptical, so that says something. An extraordinary experience, hopefully soon to be an ordinary one.

Be kind to yourself.